I take her to the airport the following day. I'm still reeling from the news but I had promised to drive her. I still cared for her, I was just having trouble processing everything still. I load her bag into the car and we drive to the airport. I cry silently most of the way, tears streaming down my face. It makes it difficult to drive. Taking her there feels like I'm breaking my own heart even more when I haven't even processed the initial news of the nature of our relationship.
I don't want her to feel bad, I know how much stress she's been under with all of the emotional challenges from the holidays and reliving events from certain past trauma. I want her to have a good trip still, she had expressed how excited she was for it. When she notices the tears, she's tender and sweet, gentle and loving. She tells me it's going to be ok. To take time for myself this week and think about what I want to do. She'll understand if it's too much and I can't continue with the relationship. I tell her I want her to have a good trip. She deserves to relax and have a good time. I'll be ok, and I'll be looking after her animals while she's gone for the week so she doesn't have to stress or worry about that. We kiss, she asks me to smile for her, to not be so sad. I do my best to see her off with a smile. I want her to be happy.
She enters the terminal, I get in my car and start driving back to her place. I break down in tears, sobbing uncontrollably for most of the drive home.
I spend the week she's gone just working and maintaining her home. The roommate isn't around too often and rarely takes care of cleaning or chores around the house. I stay at her place most nights due to my place being quite far. I spend my nights in her bed with her dog. I cry into his fur a lot. He seems to understand and just sort of lays there and accepts it without complaining. I take her snakes out a few times to change their water. They're very tame and I'm much more comfortable with them than I expected I would be. The cats don't seem to like me too much, but I change their food and water daily.
I use a lot of my free time doing research about polyamory. Specifically looking into how Mono/Poly couples make it work. We text a few times a day still, I keep her updated on her animals and let her know that I'm fine. She gives me little snippets of the events going on during the trip. She sends me a picture of herself on New Years. I send one back which was interesting. I was never one for social media or selfies or that sort of thing.
My New Years is very sad, I really latch onto the picture she sent me. I fall asleep to it most nights that week. She has an Instagram she posts to. I would check it occasionally to see her posts for her trip. I quickly stop checking it as it gets extremely painful.
The week is finally over, she's flying in that afternoon and I'm set to pick her up. I'm so excited to see her. I had spent a lot of the week contemplating the relationship and the Polyamorous aspect. She arrives, we hug and kiss. I'm overjoyed. I ask her about her trip, she tells me all about it. It's a bit painful but I'm so happy she's back. She expresses how glad she is to be back, to get back to her animals, to see me.
When we get back to her house and she unwinds and unpacks a bit we talk about our relationship. I tell her the things I've looked up and researched about how I believe we can make this work. I tell her I'm monogamous and I'm not looking for her to change or be monogamous for my sake. I believe with honesty and communication we can make this work. I want to be with her, I want to try. Even if it's hard, if we work together we can do this. She agrees with me and wants to be completely open about everything with me.
I don't want her to feel bad, I know how much stress she's been under with all of the emotional challenges from the holidays and reliving events from certain past trauma. I want her to have a good trip still, she had expressed how excited she was for it. When she notices the tears, she's tender and sweet, gentle and loving. She tells me it's going to be ok. To take time for myself this week and think about what I want to do. She'll understand if it's too much and I can't continue with the relationship. I tell her I want her to have a good trip. She deserves to relax and have a good time. I'll be ok, and I'll be looking after her animals while she's gone for the week so she doesn't have to stress or worry about that. We kiss, she asks me to smile for her, to not be so sad. I do my best to see her off with a smile. I want her to be happy.
She enters the terminal, I get in my car and start driving back to her place. I break down in tears, sobbing uncontrollably for most of the drive home.
I spend the week she's gone just working and maintaining her home. The roommate isn't around too often and rarely takes care of cleaning or chores around the house. I stay at her place most nights due to my place being quite far. I spend my nights in her bed with her dog. I cry into his fur a lot. He seems to understand and just sort of lays there and accepts it without complaining. I take her snakes out a few times to change their water. They're very tame and I'm much more comfortable with them than I expected I would be. The cats don't seem to like me too much, but I change their food and water daily.
I use a lot of my free time doing research about polyamory. Specifically looking into how Mono/Poly couples make it work. We text a few times a day still, I keep her updated on her animals and let her know that I'm fine. She gives me little snippets of the events going on during the trip. She sends me a picture of herself on New Years. I send one back which was interesting. I was never one for social media or selfies or that sort of thing.
My New Years is very sad, I really latch onto the picture she sent me. I fall asleep to it most nights that week. She has an Instagram she posts to. I would check it occasionally to see her posts for her trip. I quickly stop checking it as it gets extremely painful.
The week is finally over, she's flying in that afternoon and I'm set to pick her up. I'm so excited to see her. I had spent a lot of the week contemplating the relationship and the Polyamorous aspect. She arrives, we hug and kiss. I'm overjoyed. I ask her about her trip, she tells me all about it. It's a bit painful but I'm so happy she's back. She expresses how glad she is to be back, to get back to her animals, to see me.
When we get back to her house and she unwinds and unpacks a bit we talk about our relationship. I tell her the things I've looked up and researched about how I believe we can make this work. I tell her I'm monogamous and I'm not looking for her to change or be monogamous for my sake. I believe with honesty and communication we can make this work. I want to be with her, I want to try. Even if it's hard, if we work together we can do this. She agrees with me and wants to be completely open about everything with me.
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