This Blog

This blog is a way for me to write out my thoughts and feelings about some of the experiences of my life. In particular this past year and the abusive relationship I was in and the things that happened, good and bad. I left the relationship quite recently and I have to reconcile what happened this past year and recover. I was left with deep emotional and physical scars that I will carry for the rest of my life. My hope is that detailing some of my experience will help me understand and cope with what happened and why it happened.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Image
I met her about a year ago around Thanksgiving. This was the only romantic relationship I've ever had. Let me explain. I grew up with clinical depression and social anxiety that hit me very hard in puberty. It had a very negative impact on my social development among other things. I ended dropping out of Highschool in my sophomore year and lived 2 years in Japan with my father. After I got back to the states I got my GED and finally went through about 2 years of heavy therapy and a little bit of medication to work through my issues, eventually no longer needing the therapy or meds to manage my issues (a conclusion my therapist and I came to). I never had much of an opportunity to explore the idea of a romantic relationship during all of this. Even after I gained the tools to deal with my issues I had mixed feelings about romance. I wanted to be a better person, a solid person before I even tried to share my life with another person. I didn't want all my emotional baggage an...
Read more
I take her to the airport the following day. I'm still reeling from the news but I had promised to drive her. I still cared for her, I was just having trouble processing everything still. I load her bag into the car and we drive to the airport. I cry silently most of the way, tears streaming down my face. It makes it difficult to drive. Taking her there feels like I'm breaking my own heart even more when I haven't even processed the initial news of the nature of our relationship. I don't want her to feel bad, I know how much stress she's been under with all of the emotional challenges from the holidays and reliving events from certain past trauma. I want her to have a good trip still, she had expressed how excited she was for it. When she notices the tears, she's tender and sweet, gentle and loving. She tells me it's going to be ok. To take time for myself this week and think about what I want to do. She'll understand if it's too much and I can'...
Read more